new poetry book pg. 5

Many harmed me deeply

Hoping that

They would ruin my life

And take it away from me

But they honestly gave it to me

Sore eyes

That have seen much evil

Are now

The loveliest eyes

Who have seen much good

All the pain

Turned into the loveliest blessing

To place at Your feet Lord Jesus

It truly all was for You

The whole time

I am so glad

You gave me so many hard times,

Because of You

And for You

That I went through these things

Just for You

You are beautiful

And deserved all of it

Many terrible things

That weren't my fault

I thought I was hopeless

Forever

Now I am glad 

Forever

And every bit of pain

And there was much

You turned it into something

So beautiful

For Yourself

They didn't take my life

They gave it to me

They gave it to You

This is my life now

Suffering for You

To prove I love You

I love You Lord

Thank You

For letting me

Suffer for You

You deserve it

Daddy says

He thinks

A million deep thoughts of love

And protection

Over my precious little fingernails

Every second

My Daddy

I love, love, love

My red, red Rose

It looks more red

Every day, a shade we can't see here

Deep, deep red

I want to love

Every blood cell in Your veins

That ever went through Your body

Worship every blood cell

Love and honor every blood cell

Through such pain and sorrow and sadness

To know You more

To sacrifice more

I love my Red, Red, Rose

With all my heart

I am desperate

Everything in me

And all I have

And nothing else do I care for

Let our red, red rose, our red, red love

Become redder

And redder

Like a fiery dark red 

10 billion tsunamis of affection

Much pain mixed with love

In our heart

Every time the Father calls us

His sweet innocent precious child

It's really just more praise

For Jesus, His Sweet Precious Child

Who died on the cross

To save us

May it be said

Millions and billions of times

Every day

All over the earth

What Jesus did

That He alone can do

Billions of times may it be said

So sweetly and adoringly 

My Sweet Innocent Precious Child

My treasure is in heaven

Precious jewel of selflessness

Eternal shining gold of unselfishness

Forever sacrificial rubies of life

Forever living diamonds of innocence

My treasure is in heaven

His majestic robe covered in the royal rarest of amethysts

His throne of every precious stone

His honor due praised by billions of crowns

Cast eternally before His feet,

The Only One who wears the priceless crown

My treasure is in heaven

His name is Jesus

Priceless eternal Treasure Lord Jesus Christ

My treasure is in heaven

What You've done is far more precious

Priceless than anything

And this is all that I can say

You are far more than treasure

My treasure is in heaven

This day

Could be one of those days

When I die to myself

No matter how I feel

And love God instead

Of myself

No matter who's abusing and torturing me

Even if my own family

Doesn't care I'm going through persecution and threatened with death

Being tortured and abused, tortured all day

Daily, every day of the year

For more than 20 years

This could be one of those days

I bless God all day with my tongue

Fiery worship songs before Him, kneeling before Him on the ground

Thanking Him for this great blessing

No matter the pain I feel

The humiliation and rejection

The abuse

For following Him

Pray for them who persecuted me, pray for them, loving and blessing them

Praying for the many who abused me and rejected me

Fasting and living for God, the way He would truly ask

May all my days be like this, forever

And the King who so very much deserves it

Thank You and praise the Lord

Weave me into

Your beautiful love story

Let our lovely desirable drama

Be sacrifice and deep love, deep real love,

Deep sacrifice

What do You want?

Let it hit my life

Like a falling piano

May it crush all my desire

Into only Yours

You are Love

You made Song of Solomon

I am intrigued

I must know

I must give You

Whatever You want

I want to know everything

I want to know Your heart

You died for me.

I sit down at the table

And everyone gets up to leave

But Jesus sits down

And doesn't leave

He sits there and can see

My immense and deep shame

That I can't hide

Until it's not there anymore

We talk like old friends now

I give Him my best

And He keeps loving me

We invite others to our table too

Those no one wants

And we don't leave

For any reason

At all

All are warmly welcomed

And can always talk about anything

As long as they want

No rejection ever here

Outside is way more than cold

An eternal blizzard that would love

to see my death

Your tree/Your cross

is more like a palace

In my mind

You never make me feel

The shame and rejection and humiliation

That others do.

You are my home

I always feel welcome in

It doesn't matter what I do

and Your arms are always open

It's always so warm when I'm with You

The Dreadfully Lovely One

has filled my eyes,

Our precious deep secrets

My favorite thoughts forever

My only thoughts

You set the path

for me to find You

Full of pain and suffering

In it all I see You

My deep, deep dreadfully lovely secret

I'll bring You

The best of my song, eternally

My blood is Yours

The blood that brings me life

Your happiness, defines mine

All the hatred in the world

Will not stop me from loving You

A single tear falls down

Your face - the most terrible

Crime ever done

The value of Your heart

Far surpasses all the

Riches one could aquire

You are the Treasure of the temple

You win me over every time

You win my every desire

Just by being Yourself

You warm the coldest heart

Your beauty has no end

Utterly disarmed

Is my heart within me

How could I look into these eyes

And refuse them a single thing

Your suffering is the worst 

thing that ever happened

turn Your eyes away from me

for one glance of Your beauty

has me overcome

You are the Pearl of Great Price

I found and sold all else to gain

Respect I most definitely have for You

You reign High and Lofty above the

Whole earth, I bow my knee forever

to You and what You did

You deserve everything.

It's so much pain sometimes

To follow You

But I even forget it

As I painfully love You

Enraptured with all I have

In who You are

So utterly beautiful

I love You with a painfully painful deep love

I mentally wrap my arms

Around You on the cross

And Your whipping

And they kill me

And whip me instead

You are Painfully beautiful

So utterly beautiful

You cause Your people

To fall for You

And love a painful life

Because You are

So painfully, dreadfully beautiful

I hope I have

Painfully moved Your heart

That's all I care to do

I can't stop looking at You

I would do anything for You

You will never not continue

To always amaze me

You move me to suffer

So gladly

Because of Your dreadfully lovely beauty

I feel pain,

So deep this love

I love pain because of You

I broke Your heart

But my heart was broken too

I've suffered a lot

For following You

And I'm glad

Because I deserved

To feel

The pain

Of Your broken heart

Toward me

Too.

You are worthy

I'm happy things have been this way

I'm sorry I ever broke Your heart

Now please always make sure

I follow You and do Your will

And any pain I feel

You deserve

I love to prove my love to You

Make me like You

So humble and loving and obedient

So You are glorified on Your day

Beautiful,

So lovely, so fair

You are rare

You stand alone,

You are rare alone

No one else is like You

Every could be

Or ever will, be anything like You

So beautiful, so lovely, so rare

No one can understand how rare

You're in a puppy's eyes

You're in a kitten's roar

So innocent and adorable

You're as deep as the forest

So lovely in such innocent wildness

Such a wild depth that goes on forever

You can destroy far more than a tsunami can

A precious heart

That shouldn't be played with

The innocent deep self-respect,

And the dreadfully lovely death

I bow to.

You are rare

In billions of different ways

We don't even begin

To understand Your love

There are 4 types of love here

I bet there's infinite types of love

With You in heaven.

People who truly find You

As You are

Are overwhelmingly 

Mind-blown

How beautiful You are

Who could hope to describe You

So rare, so desirable

All of the rarest, most expensive jewels

In the world are quite plain

Sitting next to You

You make all the rarest beauties in life

You are always far rarer

A kind of love

Love way more powerful

Than romanticc love

A trillion times more powerful

Is with You in heaven

You are the possessor

Of the eyes of Love

Oh to behold such

A Being, so dreadfully lovely

How You suffered for me, makes me want to

Suffer the same for You, who else could inspire

Such dreadfully lovely feelings

Perfect forever

Never fake 

You pull off perfect

Eternally

Without having to try

Never having to be

Deceptive to get Your way